


GraffitiTale

by Agraulis_vanillae



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Cafe Owner Reader, Café, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Graffiti, Graffiti Artist!BP, Graffiti Artist!Burgerpants, Humor, M/M, Reader-Insert, Romance, graffiti artist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 19:17:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7519997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agraulis_vanillae/pseuds/Agraulis_vanillae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Burgerpants is a graffiti artist, after having wasted his whole life away on the cutthroat life of an actor, he's grateful to get a second chance and do something different. As his first boss in a long time, he finds that you're a little different too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	GraffitiTale

With an accompanying “tsss!”, he sought to bring the cafe to life. This was a well paying commission, but more importantly, this was at the request of a friend from back in the Underground. Their friend was tentatively starting a new business, but needed something unique to bring customers in. Monsters would visit once word spread that the business was here, but humans were odd creatures, clannish in their own right and fickle. And so his orders were simply to find something to attract them. 

The wall gleamed from the wet red and gold paint, the blue and oak brown paints already having dried. Fumes concentrated in the enclosed space but he was unaffected, his mask protecting his lungs from the worst of it. Seeing that most of the paint wasn't likely to dry for a few minutes, he stepped back and evaluated the scene. The blurry outline of the scene was slowly sharpening. The sliding doors glimmered crimson, gold highlights lining the ends. A cloudless blue sky expanded beyond those doors, unimpeded by the solidity of the wall he was working on. The bottom of the wall continued the floor of the cafe in a wooden track to an blurry kotatsu table with steaming cups of tea that appeared more like dots, out of focus.

He stood outside to remove the mask and brought out a smoke, trembling just enough to make lighting himself up a bitch. He sighed in relief as the end lit up and inhaled deeply. People were doing their shopping in places across the way, the storefronts all lit up with open windows and clean displays in stark contrast to the renovation taking place here. He watched the people passing by, spying a few monsters here and there. Plenty of them were unfamiliar, but he saw a couple he thought might've stayed at the old Mettaton resort in the Underground.

He crushed the cigarette under his heel and then flicked the put out butt in a nearby trashcan before heading back, with the mask still on. He also checked the rest of the suit he was wearing to make sure that his tail was tucked in. Spray-paint's a pain in the ass to wash out of his tail. Plus, it was bad enough that everyone ran around calling him Burgerpants, he didn't need to be called something like Paint-tail as well. Actually that didn't sound so bad...

He was still considering the merits of 'setting up' another nickname when he started feeling the wall for the end of the tape blending into it. With a careless flourish, he pulled it off as soon as he felt his nails dig underneath. Part of it ripped midway. “Dammit!” He grumbled through the mask. He grabbed the end of the tape again and pulled. Slowly, the blurry edges of the picture sharpened and clarified, leaving a defined table and tea set. He then placed tape, cutting it in specific shapes, over the new areas he was going to paint and got to work.

Soon enough, the sky darkened to an indigo blue and a red haze crept down to the line of the horizon. Bordering trees and their white star-shaped flowers peeked from behind the drawn lacquered sliding doors. His first fear when the client requested the flowers be from a specific tree, was that it was going to be something weird but it turned out to be that of a pear tree. Nonetheless, once the latest coat of paint dried, he was planning on drawing in the green throat and red-brown dots of the... whatever is what called. Anther? Antler? Esther? Fuck if he knew, even if he did look it up.

The next time he walked out for a smoke break, the same sunset depicted on the wall was spread out across the sky. Not many stars could be seen here, but streetlights and store lights illuminated the street just fine. The glow of his cigarette was barely noticeable past the artificial light. Not a minute after lighting it, a car pulled over and parked in the space next to the storefront. That was when he got his first look at the client- a human.

You stepped out carefully, dressed in a white button up shirt and dark wash jeans. A mild look of surprise passed across your face, seeing him standing in front of the store. He thought that your surprise might've been because he was a monster, and braced himself for the worst.

“Wow, you're working really late, aren't you?” you asked. “Bratty and Catty really undersold your dedication value. How's the wall going?”

It takes him a few minutes to find his voice. And stop the spastic twitching associated with communicating with a boss completely unlike Mettaton. “Herrr um, it's going! Ahahaha!” He managed to laugh with a cheerful mania that made you cringe.

“Relax, I'm not expecting a huge project like this to be done in one day,” you said cautiously. “Do you need me to go? I know some people who get really on edge when they're working on something and they don't really want anyone seeing it until they're done.”

“N-no! Ah, it's totally fine sir! Really!” Shit, now you think he's a weirdo who probably huffs paint or something. Plus, there goes his plan to be totally cool and act like he was on the same level as you. Damn you Pavlov! “You totally own the place so go right in! Actually don't, its kinda full of paint fumes so you really oughta get your own mask or something...”

“I don't really have one on me right now, but if you don't mind, I'd really like to see. Can I borrow yours?” You shifted in place and smiled. Typical tactic employed by pretty people. 

“Sure, h-have at it?” he stammered. Mind control, he swears.

You slowly reach around him as he shook in place, untangling the mask from around him and placing it – holy shit – over your mouth. That mask. Which was over his face just a few minutes ago. Your muffled voice sounded, “Bee ar bee.” 

Unable to believe what he'd just seen, he trembled in place for a full minute, taking another drag and tapping the already too long tail of ash. His boss, a hot person even, is now wearing his mask over their face. What kind of game were you playing? Clearly not one that will end well for him! You come back out after a few minutes, shaking your head with wide admiring eyes.

“You work fast,” you told him, tugging off the mask to give to him. “Was this really just from today?”

“Y-yes?!” He could hardly control the corners of his mouth twitching, but managed not to make a sardonic smile.

“That's really amazing,” you praised, grabbing his hand in earnest while he glances at his hand and up to you with a petrified expression. “I thought that sky would've turned out a light blue, but with the sunset you're really bringing out the richness of the colors of the rest of the picture! Its really awesome to see the intensity of all the color scheme.”

“S-sorry!” You drop his hand when you realize how terrified he looked. You just stare at him for a few seconds more while he screams internally at the attention, “I don't mean to be rude, but holy shit you're expressive.”

He blanked out for a second. It was the same kind of thing monsters would tell him when he was a young and naive 14. Not too much older than his little buddy who was quickly working their way up in the world. “I wanted to be an actor a long time ago, but my boss was the ultimate jerk. When I finally got to be on the stage, he made me a bush.”

“A plant? I mean, couldn't you just put a cardboard cut out there and be done with it?” you asked skeptically. Enthusiastically, he started ranting, forgetting for a second that you were also his boss and a hottie to boot.

“I KNOW, RIGHT?! You would think! It wasn't even ANIMATE fer crissakes! Sure, I got some face time on stage alongside Mettaton and Shyren, but after that I could only get bit parts! I thought at first, maybe I was just being hazed by the industry right? But then someone who hired me told me after that I just had a reputation for being a good background character! I WAS LITERALLY PIDGEONHOLED INTO PLAYING THE PART OF THE BACKGROUND!!! LIKE WHAT THE FUCK METTATON!”

Panting heavily, he finally had to stop speaking while you looked at him sympathetically, “It's amazing you stuck with it as long as you did. I'll be honest, public speaking terrifies me-”

You rolled up your sleeves just enough to show him the silvery network of scar tissue across your forearms, “-I got burned pretty bad as a kid, so I always feel like people are looking at that and not really at me if I don't cover it up.” 

You gave a small laugh of your own, casual on the surface but with a rough edge to it, “In any case, I wouldn't be able to do acting at all. I'm not exactly pretty looking, y'know?”

No, he actually didn't know, simply because the very thought didn't ring true. Is that really what you thought of yourself? He would've said so as soon as he figured out how not to sound creepy as hell, but a sudden outbreak of fluttering and indignant chirping sounded out from inside your car.

“Oh shi- right. I would love to stick around a little longer and watch what you'll do next, but I've got songbirds to take home. They'll probably stress out and get sick if they stay out too long,” you felt yourself up for your keys, and then pulled them out from your butt pocket. “I'll see you around, okay? Don't work too hard.”

It wasn't until later, when the paint fumes settled, the accents placed on the door, the flowers completed, the sunset sky indigo glittered with stars, the teacups designs were finally dried on, and his insignia in place, that he found out what the deal was with the birds. The cafe was still under renovation when the golden bird cages moved into the corners of the cafe, along with one large bird cage set in the center of the room.

“What kind of cafe IS this place, anyway?” he managed to ask, slowly feeling a little less like he was losing his mind every time he saw you. 

You were arranging chairs and tables, determining the best layout that would give the cafe an open view of the cage in the middle but without sacrificing additional seating. “A cafe to inspire relaxation and seclusion. Its busy out there in the city, and loud. I'm aiming to give people a place to breathe deep and recover from the hustle and bustle. The menu will mostly be drinks, sweets, and light meals such as salads and sandwiches. It's really the birds that are the main attraction though.”

“Better concept than my old work job. My boss thought that humans wanted to eat burgers made out of glue and sequins,” he grimaced. “That place was just a labyrinth of bad decisions. Still, you think anyone's gonna want to listen to birds while they're eating?”

You hesitate, and then shyly, “I don't know. Do you think I'm being overly hopeful that they will?”

“NO! I mean, there can never be enough hope, right?! Don't go looking all worried like that on me man! I put too much time into painting your wall for you to doubt yourself now,” he flailed. “Anyways, there's nowhere to go but up, amirite?!!” 

“Nowhere to go but up,” you recite thoughtfully. “Got it. Out of curiosity, what do you do when you aren't being commissioned?”

“Most times I'm just doing some graffiti downtown somewhere,” he makes an effort to shrug, a little wary of this line of questioning. 

“Well, if you don't have anything better to do, will you drop by on opening day?” you ask, your grin twisting ruefully. “It's gonna be weird if I end up just sitting in an empty cafe all day. I'll even make you a cup of tea, free of charge.”

“A-are you serious?” Now he felt bad, you almost sounded like that was exactly what you thought would happen. It was probably just a bad case of nerves on your part, with opening day so close and all, but he suddenly felt responsible for dredging up your doubts. Why else would you resort to inviting him to visit after the painting was done? “Eh, can't say no to free food... but seriously man, you'll be fine!”

Sometime a couple days later, he texted Catty and Bratty on a whim. He thought maybe they could show up for just a few minutes or something to catch up real quick after going their separate ways from the Underground, but being the incorrigible gossips they were, word spread fast. Maybe that was to be expected, given the speed with which everyone knew about the “burger” incident. In any case, unbeknownst to you and him, they told their ex-sitter who posted on the Undernet, whose posts were shared...

And on opening day for The Warbler's Cafe, a diverse range of customers showed up to see the yellow warblers that was almost promptly mistaken for canaries, the nightingales, and the social finches inside the main cage. Among your customers were a cute fish and a perpetually anxious dinosaur out on a date, a blue bunny who was more than happy to share business tips and jokes that turned into a series of cute drawings bearing compliments on napkins, more than a few curious human customers who seemed to know one monster or another and most notably a sweet overly large goat monster who immediately took a fondness to ordering different flavors of tea to see what new bird would decorate the cup.

You were flabbergasted at the turnout, so busy you almost missed him slinking in, with an almost rabbit-like timidity. He honestly hadn't expected King Fluffybuns of all people to notice to be present! But he was spotted by Bratty and Catty chatting animatedly, and waved over with no option to retreat.

“Oh my god, Burgerpants!” Bratty squealed, Catty picking up right after her.

“We haven't seen you in like,”

“FOREVER!!!” They said in an united singsong. The warbler nearby fluttered in protest to their high-pitched giggles.

“Yeah... hey why is Fluffybuns of all people here?” He hissed.

“Oh well, you know!”

“After you told us about this little place we talked to Alphys, and you know how she is, always like posting online and talking to Asgore-” Catty babbled.

“-since she was totally the Royal Scientist once!” Bratty finished, “So I guess they talked and here we are!”

He just barely absorbed this fact, when they barreled on, Catty saying “So hey, I hear you totally do graffiti art?”

“Yeah, that's neato and all-”

They kept going until you showed up with a steaming cup of tea, wearing an open long-sleeved kimono and slacks, “Here's the tea like I promised! Have you heard what everyone's saying about the wall?” You were beaming at him like he somehow coordinated a birthday party or something. Not that it was too far off the mark, even if it was totally by accident. “You know, maybe I ought to get you to paint the front of the building too. Can I call you once I've saved enough for another commission?”

Before he knew it, he was left with your number on a napkin and his two friends giggling maniacally.

“OH EM GEE Bratty, they're like-”

“- totally into you Burgerpants!”

He stared at the napkin blankly.

“Uh, Burgerpants? Hellooo?” Catty shook a paw in his face.

“Catty, I think he's like, broken or something,” they looked at each other, paw and claw over their mouths.

“NYAH HAHAHA!!!”

**Author's Note:**

> Kyre and I had been talking about headcanons for Burgerpants in Chemistry of Cooking and if/how he would show up, and when I finally thought of something different, it kinda... became a thing. Now we're posting both our stories today like there's no tomorrow. He's probably still going to be a graffiti artist in CoC too.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [the_fox333's Burgerpants/Reader 30](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7835974) by [the_fox333](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_fox333/pseuds/the_fox333)




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